Marie Julika

It was like it should be. Like it was, maybe a long time ago, probably quite normal and common. She came during the night, and finally was born in the early morning of the 14. November at 6:15 am. Outside it was still dark. Fiona was still fast asleep.

Since the happenings around Fiona’s birth and afterwards were extraordinarily difficult and strangely out of place, somehow the NHS agreed to enabling a home birth for us. This made all the difference.

We moved into the Croft House in October, got it all nice and cosy. And then, life just continued as usual. No worries, no hustle, no needing to go somewhere... just a calm expectation, tender waiting, gentle relaxing, a slow growing towards the event.

In a calm, starry night, Charlot had some light contractions. In the middle of the night, I noticed her gliding out of bad with her big heavy belly, with a quietly pressed exhale, she went downstairs, and I fell back to sleep.

When I woke up again, I heard her breath heavily and singing her contractions away. I knew, now it’s getting serious and about time to join her.

She had just rung the midwifes. There were in Craignure, about 45 minutes’ drive away from us. Always ready, prepared and waiting for our call. The due date had just passed. Charlot wanted to take shower before the midwife would arrive, to relax, maybe take a bath. The water was running, as I found her naked in the bathroom, resting on the sink with heavy contraction.

Charlot had lit the stove in the living room, candles were everywhere. A dim, warm light. It was a peaceful and ceremonial atmosphere all around. She was calm as anything and absolutely ready to receive the baby, to let go and let it happen. She climbed into the bath, the wrong way around, on all fours and the contractions came intensely and fast after each other.

Not long and Charlot said " I can’t hold it any longer, its coming!", the waters broke in a big explosion and Marie`s head appeared. I can’t really remember many details, it all went very quick, but, at the same time, it felt like an eternal moment, timeless and normal and natural. No thoughts, fears or other distractions were present- and suddenly I had this little body in my hands, for a few moments it still got stuck with its hips. I let gravity work and it came out completely.

Her eyes were closed, one eye opened a bit, her first scream. I reached her between Charlots legs to her brave other. She was beaming with happiness, receiving her baby with joy and peace.

After a while Charlot felt easy and good to move out of the bath, wrapping some towels and blankets around her. We sat on the sofa in the living room, the baby on Charlots tummy. Marie found the breast and started sucking.

When the midwifes sneaked into the house it was so silent and calm, that one could almost hear the angles singing. It took them some seconds to realize that they missed the birth. Cheerfully we sat together. Much to our liking they retreated to the kitchen to have a cup of tea and they let us alone with the baby.

After some time one of the midwifes encouraged Charlot to stand up, to see if the placenta would come out. So it was. The chord was cut. Peace time again. Only after more than an hour after the birth, they examined Marie just a little, and Charlot as well, just to make sure everything was alright. No unnecessary checks or talk. Since everything seemed in best order, they left with the first light.

Fiona woke up and climbed down the stairs. In awe and wonder she said hello her little sister and joined us for a cuddle. We then realized. Now we really are a family.

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