Meditations on Oxytocin – Part II

When the oxytocin level is high, one could say, a birth is going to be smooth, relatively fast, and easy. With a high level of oxytocin, a birth is still a huge, amazing, exhausting process, that might also include phases of pain, maybe blood loss, screaming, crying. But it will be a „save“ thing, because nature is nature: This hormone makes you go with the flow, it’s the big helper that “know” what to do. It is the real midwife. You “just” need to cooperate, i.e., relax”. (while that sounds like a contradiction, it’s not. 1st: oxytocin helps to relax, and second, even when in pain and under labor, oxytocin makes it bearable, you are mastering the situation). If you let nature be - it knows what to do. And you (the woman) is oxytocin. It’s not something else. It in the woman, working there, being part of the whole thing inseparable from the woman. Oxytocin is „the nature“ of birth. It does everything. It’s the big helper. Oxytocin is the actual midwife.

It is quite amazing that one substance is responsible for so many processes and the body regulation (and enabling) very different actions. How can this be? It initiates the womb contractions for the birth pf the baby. Postnatal, it initiates the contraction for the birth of the placenta. Then it’s in charge for the happiness and overwhelming joy when receiving the child and having succeeded” this amazing act. Then is in charge in the bonding between mother and child (both in mother and child- the child has oxytocin a well, triggered by the birth its flooded in oxytocin, just like the mother and- also the father, even when much weaker doses). Then oxytocin is involved in building trust, in reducing the stress level, and also in releasing the milk when breastfeeding. Every sucking of the child, releases oxytocin, renewing the bonding and the intimate interweaving of mother and child.

What do these most important features that are all the most essential in having a child have in common? What do thy tell us about our nature, about the nature of having a child, about birth?

They are all things, that we don’t have any conscious control of.

They have in common, that they are things that happen, if we let go, if we let go of control.

Oxytocin is called “the shy” hormone. Why? Because it does not show itself easily, only in very save environments. And because it disappears again when disturbed. It takes a long time to come out and no time to escapes again. Oxytocin can only help, when I a save environment, when the mother is relaxed and feel protected and at home.


Oxytocin is a "night" phenomenon. We have to embrace the dark in order to truly be able to let go.

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