Aktualisiert: 20. Jan 2019
We knew this would happen. One day. And now it’s reality. Our little one is here. Fiona Johanna is born at the Royal Infirmary in Edinburgh on Friday 28th at 4:00 p.m. Fiona and her great mother did an amazing job and all is well. She is now already more than a week with us and it’s just wonderful.
We like to address our thanks to everyone who supported us so generously! We felt (and needed) your waves of good will, heartfelt good wishes and encouraging thoughts and they reached us (and others). Like a miracle it was possible to have a natural (varginal) breech delivery after all. But till the last hour before the birth this was in question and needed to be fought for (against cecarean section which the doctors "advised").
At one point, after yet another argument with a doctor, another tough session (without being able to relax and prepare for the birth, to go into intuition, into feel with the baby, to be in peace and in the flow), threats, fear, horrible scenarios drawn out before us, scary consequences sketched like pictures of hell all around us – while Charlot, half way through dilating – tried to breath away the contractions and shielding her inner power from the mighty surge of outwardly pressure. She remained in peace letting the materialistic, security based, number based, cold and indifferent against inner values mentality not affect her (no doctor or medical staff within the NHS acts according to own moral standards or inner knowledge or wisdom but instead according to outer rules and regulations, according to external advises and guidelines).
Charlot managed to stay calm, I couldn’t. I was at the end of my strength (being in hospital already longer than 24h without sleep and food and exposed to the just mentioned climate) and started to argue and loose even more energy. I went outside into the last late afternoon sun to some close by trees and cried, sobbed, was devastated. I was acknowledging the pain and was overwhelmed by the feeling of powerlessness and being at those machine’s (both human and non human) mercy. How to cooperate, be partners in the process, except help but also trying to be respected? Then, suddenly, a powerful wave caught me suddenly like a warm breeze rapping me into a warm cloak of peace. I suddenly felt all the people supporting us (in all their different ways, all of them in good will even though I don’t agree with their way of support), and I felt Fiona’s strength and the sureness that it’s going to work out fine.
And so it was. I went back into the delivery room. Charlot’s mentality and inner attitude had changed. She now took over and managed “her” birth. Suddenly everyone cooperated according to her wishes, she was active and empowered and in relatively short time Fiona was born.
Our deep thanks go out to all friends and families. And eternal gratitude to Katherine who prepared such a warm and welcoming home for us for theses special days. She and her family have so much interwoven with our fate, fortune and challenges. What an amazing support we had!
We will soon return to Mull. For now, we are resting, trying to establish breastfeeding, eating, sleeping, recovering, going for short walks and – always in between – enjoying a smile, a funny frown or a lovely vague stare into the (for us) unseen of our little one: Fiona, after feeding, nicely alert, moves her arms, hands and fingers, as if showing (in eurhythmy) what she is seeing and sensing when happily, peacefully watching someone’s aura. Deeply moving and pure joy to observe!